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Friday 30 October 2020

The Ups And Downs Of Lockdown

 Hi,

Lockdown has been something which we've all had to experience, whether we liked it or not. Everyones lockdowns have been very similar, staying in, working from home, barely seeing your family and friends and missing them like mad. However everyones had their differences. Mine personally began with me feeling pretty positive, I could do college work from home, I could play video games all day long and I didn't even have to get dressed up in my usual college get up! (usually a skirt, jumper and boots or a dress so my lockdown clothes were much more chilled out!)

However after a few weeks of the same old thing it gets pretty boring, and lonely. I missed my family, I missed my friends, and I missed my boyfriend, Joshua. I missed how things us to be, simple, a fun routine where I could see the people who I loved whenever I wanted. I missed the usual anyhow things use to be. I buried my head in college essays and workbooks, I played video games until late at night, I hid away. 

Once a week or so, me and Joshua would go on a walk. I would go into the shop opposite me and get lunch for the two of us, he would walk up to meet me. We would then walk to the park near where we live and then walk down the little brook which flows behind it. We managed to find a little indent in the river where we would sit and eat our lunch. We would sit and talk for a while and then walk on until we reached the part where we had to part ways. They were always the days I would look forward to, the days where there was even the tiniest bit of normality. 

I guess relationships in lockdown aren't the easiest. Me and Joshua went days without seeing each other. We would play video games together but its not the same as sitting down together and watching a film or playing a game together while trying to annoy the other so you win. FaceTime definitely changed lockdown, we would FaceTime everyday, when we woke up, before we slept, throughout the day, just to try and make it seem like we were together. Things did get tense at times, were not a long distance kind of couple! We love spending time together and being in each others presence, we can't be apart. Well, I know I can't be away from him. 

Luckily lockdown was eased during the time of our two year anniversary, we went for a meal and then he came back to mine and we watched tv. Nothing too exciting but it was romantic and sweet. I will probably do a full post on our relationship and things like that! 

When lockdown ended (kind of) and I went back to college, I got to see my friends again, my family, and I got to live a more normal life again. We all did. Yes the fear of the Coronavirus was still there, but everyone was distracted by the normality. 

One of the biggest downfall of living in lockdown was the anxiety. Not knowing when you'll next see our loved ones. Not knowing if you'll see some of them again. Since Lockdown I can safely say that my anxiety has sky rocketed. I get worried over the slightest of things, if plans get canceled or pushed back, if I get a message which I can't check at that moment in time, if I get something wrong etc. I guess I'm writing this little part to help explain it more to myself so I can understand myself a little bit more. 

I suppose everyone has had different experiences in lockdown. I hope you are doing well. If not I hope I can help in any way possible. 

See you soon,

Mia xx

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